Sultans go from zeroes to heroes in game of two pitches

It seemed the new season had started the same way the last ended. The Sultans stricken on 10/3, the first three batsmen going down as cheaply as Helen Wood. Same meat, different gravy, and not the greatest of introductions to league cricket.

To follow 2010’s template further still, the middle order was required to make some kind of fightback, and then some, to try and at least salvage some pride.

With a combination of luck and skill, Dainty and Skinner did just that.

The ying-and-yang pairing survived a few scares, in particular from the sharp bowling of Elliot, before settling into a handsome groove of comfortable singles punctuated by satisfying boundaries.

In particular a pull from Dainty and a lofted on-drive from Skinner were shots of note.

Only the thought of his maiden 50 put Dainty off his stroke, spooning a sharp return catch to the left-armer, with Skinner swiftly following suit.

A handy knock from Dicko plus a wagging tail and a last over which went for five wides took the Sultans to a respectable 162-9 – a competitive total on a pitch that had shown enough variable bounce to leave the bowlers with something other than home-made carrot cake to chew on over tea.

And then from across the way came the parky in his 4×4, with a scrap of paper that said we should be playing on that pitch, not this, because there was another game about to start and they didn’t want players colliding in the outfield(s).

Rotters. Someone should have also told the 49ers fielders who had earlier provided some Harold Lloyd-style entertainment by falling over one another while fielding in the deep.

So having won the toss and elected to bat first on the greenish top the Sultans upped sticks, literally, and prepared to send a few down on the mystery new pitch.

Conley took the first over, bowling down the slope, and immediately showed the trademark aggression and accuracy which made him the Sultan’s No 1 bowler by a country mile last year.

Debutant Earnshaw joined him in the new new-ball pairing. The Bowler With No Run-Up had impressed in the nets, even when sending down off-spin.

But nothing had prepared us for the Fire In Hampstead unleashed by the newcomer – and especially not Skinner who saw his first ball fly by for four byes.

The next 11 deliveries were completely on the money. Fast, accurate, nasty, with the timbers smashed not once but three times in astonishing opening salvo.

The Curtley to Earnshaw’s Courtney, Conley seemed to pick up pace and a lifting delivery saw their No. 6 fend to Wilson who made amends for his miserable show with the bat (again) by taking a leaping two-handed catch above his head at first slip. Easily the champagne moment of the match.

When Morgan replaced Earnshaw – because he was looking too damn dangerous and went on to finish with figures of 3/6 – and took a wicket with a rank full-bunger that was barely legal it wasn’t clear who was more shell-shocked: The Sultans or the 49ers. Probably us, I’d say. At drinks we had them at 60-6 – “Which is good,” as the cricket sage Skinner noted.

As earlier, the middle order restored some sanity by digging in before unleashing some flashing strokeplay to punish any grot dropped short or on the leg-side (by Morgan, natch).

The wristy Hassy struck a couple of boundaries including a big six to provide some hope of a recovery. But then came Boss.

The player’s player of the year in 2010, Boss often went unrewarded and indeed punished despite some fine shows with the ball.

Not today. From the off he was seaming and swinging the ball before teasing Duffy into a misjudged slash outside the off-stump to Faint, who showed excellent hands in taking a falling catch at a square-ish third man.

Dander up, Boss then took two further quick wickets to leave the 49ers hanging on by a thread.

The only bowlers to go unrewarded were unlucky Wilson J – surely the best cricketer the Basque region has ever seen – and Wilson C whose leg-spin had the parabola of a Chuck Yeager space mission. The ball nearly came down with a parachute on, it went so high.

Back came Conley to wrap up the innings, with a mis-timed drive prompting a safe catch at mid-off from the ever-reliable Dainty.

The Sultans went into raptures and to the top of the table on net run rate

Disregarding the slow start, from the batting to the fielding and especially the bowling we were bang on top of our game and controlled the match.

Frankly, we might never play so well ever again. But let’s hope we do.

Result: Sultans of Swing won by 82 runs

Scorecard and gallery to follow